Wednesday, February 3, 2010

A Good Sign?

I did not get my period for January. Two prengnancy tests said negative. For the last few months, my cycle has been irregular. It sends somewhat of a thrill through me because to me, this is like a sign that I am finally thin! I will hold on the applause because my stomach is unsettled right now. Perhaps my period is yet to come. But, either way, I need to miss my period for three solid months in order for me to even think about honoring this.

The awful truth is that I am not even that thin. I hsve plateaued at 95. I miss the days when I was 90. And yet there is still hope in my mind. I believe I will see those again! Yesterday, I didn't eat that much. Even if I was being immodest, I would still say that I have consumed far less than 500 calories that day. Today, I hat two scrambled eggs with cheese in it, a glass of milk, and my multivitamin.

It is this tiny pill that makes me eat. I need it to keep my body healthy. But, it makes me sick to my stomach unless I eat something with it.

I suppose a better choice would have been broth instead of my heavy breakfast. But, I guess I will just wean myself off of food. Tomorrow, I will just have broth. And, possibly Friday as well. This Sunday is my sister's baby shower and I am bound to eat. So I must take these preventative measures. Even if I don't lose, at least I won't gain. And that is something. Who knows? Perhaps I will lose something. If so, won't I just be such a happy woman?