Sunday, December 26, 2010

Strive for something better--strive for perfection

My second blog today-- not unusual for me. I was proud that I did not let a single morsel pass through my lips at work today, which sucked by the way. Work always sucks.

I drank to kids cups of water and two of diet pepsi with lemon. Really darlings, add a lemon to anything, it tastes wonderful! I am finishing a bottle of water now. When I got home, dinner was out. I didnt eat that, but I did have some dirt cake. Not much, but enough to make me feel guilty. I am hungry now, and tired. I am never tired before midnight so I know my body is weakened from the lack of food. The elation will follow soon.

Unfortunately, I made plans with a friend I normally do not talk to, or see, but we do need to have our mini christmas together and I suggested coffee, or lunch. Really, she is probably broke and I can convince her to just have it at her house. I feel better with that out of the way.

For a minute, I thought I might have to consume a few calories. I am going on a vaction January 4-6 and cannot wait. I want to be around 94 pounds by the time I leave. I am sure the hotel room is equipped with an exercise room and any unwanted and necessary calories consumed can be burned away. The hotel is all-inclusive.

Basically, I have consumed fewer than 100 calories today which I suppose is good. I was aiming for 000. Tomorrow morning, I am driving to the library to pick up my book, Hunger, by Jackie Kessler. It as an allegorical story about anorexia and I cannot wait to read it. And it always feels better reading thinspiring books like that on an empty stomach.

Good night ladies.
Stay strong.