im sorry ana

No matter how hard I try it is never enough. Another failure today. I fasted for 46 hours until my body protested & collapsed. I will stand up I will try again. If only she'd stop screaming in my ear! I'm trying Ana! Damn it I'm trying! Nothing I do is enough! Tonight kicks off another fast a short one, only around 40 hours. I can handle that can't I? You better bitch. Stop yelling at me! Her voice is always quick to judge after I have eaten even the smallest morsel. I will make her proud! I cannot bear to weigh myself yet. 100 pounds? 98? 105? Or, god forbid 96? If only.
If only Ana
If only.