sometimes we run away just to see if someone cares enough to follow.

Im running Michael.
Chase me.
In a few months I may slow down. catch me. when i am falling
running
drowning
catch me
im here but not for long.

watch me disappear. catch me before i am to little to be caught before i run through your fingers like sand.
the sands of time are running out.
im here but so is spring.
the pounds are not here. i will not be here forever.
im running michael. catch me.
Before I self destruct.

aLice in Wonderland

Where have I been? Too much to write but I'm back. Still strong and getting stronger. I'm ignoring the scale. Only physical evidence counts not numbers. Those pants will fit,the worry will increase in others forehead, compliments will roll in...


Welcome back spring
Welcome back

Shamrock Shakes

Yes, I am craving one big time. A large with whip cream and a cherry on top.
350.. that's how many calories a small has. A small.
So, I am trying to avoid that blunder today although I ate two very large bowls of kix with NON fat free milk... only because I was too lazy to grab the fat free from behind it. Why do I have both kinds anyways? Ah yes, the boyfriend was here. Ugh.


Maybe I will just say FUCK IT! and get that large shake....The weather is gradually warming up and I have committed to exercising at first opportunity. Instead of driving around my campus, I park the car and I walk to all my classes. So, that ought to help some. When its a bit warmer than 30 degrees I will walk to fill the time between my classes as well, usually about an hour and a half. Major burning there.

When spring is in full swing, I am running, daily. School is only so long and my job SUCKS so I most likely will not work at all this summer, in which case, I will be in the pool swimming and in all other ways, exercising.

That seemed nonchalant, but it does irk me that I get absolutley NO hours at work. i have failed to get another job and I have been trying for quite some time. Hopefully, things pick up in the fall. If it wasn't for the boyfriend, I'd be royally screwed. Or back at my parents house which is definitely not happening.

Ahh, only a few more years until I can settle into a career, provided I get one, and all these silly worries will be behind me.

Structure

i need a structure.... a plan, a well thought out plan. For this week, I think I will sit down and organize and plan my every move until i have a neat structure. This way, I can avoid downfalls. If it's not on the agenda, then don't do it, or don't eat it.

Today, I must drink a minimum of 3 water bottles, I may go over, hopefully.

No food whatsoever today.

Also, during my last class of the day, I may have one cup of coffee to keep away the hunger pain. (6o cals)

When I get home, I am doing homework and cleaning. Then, I will fall asleep.