On and Off Again

Yea, that 1 pound is coming on and off because I am not doing this right! I can't even fast longer than 2 days! It sucks. Today, I am not eating anything except maybe 1 or 2 chicken wings because if I starve, I end up eating more the next day. I would much rather starve, but maybe this way is better.

If my boyfriend didn't live with me, it might be a little bit easier for me not to eat. He is the only reason why I make dinner. So, I will fast on occasions, but when I am not fasting, I will restrict. Today, I will consume less than 300 calories.

I have this little book in my purse with me that I write everything I ate and how much I weigh ect. But, I started making lists too. Lists about "bad foods" that I must never touch, like cool whip. And "Bad Foods Except With Moderation" like coffee or diet soda. I also listed how much of each ingredient on the nutrition label is good. "No more than 5g of sugar for any food excluding fruits." "Good Foods" include sugar-free jello, and teddy grahms. Teddy Grahms are only 130 calories for 24. And, as my snack for the day, that could really fill me up.

So, as of right now, my goal is >300 Cals today. By June First 2010, I want to be 88 pounds. I have also set up a stepping stone system paired with rewards. Instead of my goal to be 94-88, its 95-93, Reward: New Cell Phone. As I get skinnier, I have rewards like (93-90) black jeans, and (90-88) white skinny jeans.

I am very excited about this. I am not going to weigh myself until Friday though. Sometimes the scale encourages me, and other times, it's a huge discouragement.