FAT FAILURE

I HATE MYSELF MY LIFE AND MY BODY. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. IM FAT AND UGLY AND HUGE. MY JEANS HURT AND THEY SHOULDN'T I WANT TO BE PERFECT! YESERTDAY, I WAS READY FOR BED AND WAS ABOUT TO LAY DOWN AND I STILL ONLY HAD 60 CALS. THEN, MY BF AND I STARTED ARGUING VIA TEXT MESSAGES AND I STAYED UP...AND I WENT DIRECTLY TO THE FRIDGE AND DID A 1300 CALORIE BINGE. IM FAT AND DISGUTING. I HATE MY FUCKING SELF! I REFUSE TO EAT ANYTHING AT ALL THIS WEEKEND. NOTHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. I HAVE A BOOK THAT I WRITE EVERYTHING I EAT DOWN IN. TODAY I AM GOING TO MAKE A LIST OF ALL THE THINGS I CAN DO TO AVOID EATING WHEN THE URGE IS THERE. I HATE MYSELF.